Hi. Welcome.

Hahahaha o levels start in 2 days and yet again i am -gasp- unprepared. My mind is a blank and i am filling my brain with mundane thoughts.

2 days.

11 october, just 11 more days to the start of my redemption hahaha. i cannot ever fathom how i dragged myself through this year. this has been the darkest year of my life so far, (allow me to dramatise pls)  i have stuttered through innumerable maths worksheets and suffered the ignominy of being asked, 'which poly/jc are you in?' 'oh no sir i'm currently retaking my o level exams.'  in which i'm glad they stopped asking after that.

but here i am, watching a rather pointless football match way outside my sleeping time,( yes anything past 12 am is late for me. sorry i no life hahaha.) i can't help thinking  that somewhere out there, determined hardworking students are burning midnight oil to study for their exams. i can't ever imagine doing that. i mean, sacrificing your sleep in exchange to slog during those precious hours to memorise lengthy sentences that we will probably never think about after graduation. or maybe i'm just lazy.

actually i think i am the perennial slacker of my family. i don't normally put in enough effort unless i am thoroughly interested in it. funny how i can remember inane facts like how many caps beckham has accumulated for england (its 108 by the way) and i cant remember the defination of relative molecular mass. 

i just can't wait till it's over. it's really just less than 2 weeks away. so close, so close. now all i have to do is just hope i can get at least b3 for both my papers. 

for now though, watching england struggle against ukraine will soothe my nerves

i feel jaded. whatever just one more month and i'm instead of getting motivated, i'm bordering on apathetic.

it's a funny feeling, and almost a cliche. the end is in sight, and yet, i've never been more unmotivated. what i long to do everyday is well, nothing. yes, nothing at all because i think thats exactly what i've been doing this year.

no, poring over notes and scribbling inane and hardly decipherable maths equations don't really count, because that's what i have to do to escape 2009. it's outside of that, that i realise that i haven't really done anything. which speaks volumes about this year really. all i'm able to do is to complain about my predicament, and whine endlessly to anyone who would listen. haha.

the only other thing i'm able to do, is to keep to my diet and exercise regimen consistently. hardly a consolation but at least it's something i feel good about.

i know. i place the blame for my recent lack of any sense of urgency to study, completely and entirely on.............the barclays english premier league. all my saturday and sunday nights have been wasted since the early august. (3 weeks?) hours of productivity wasted, wasted watching overpaid, mediocre footballers take on each other in the world's most exciting football league. 

hahaha i'm kidding. i have absolutely no complaints. give me football and homework and like 6000000 other people out there, i will choose football. fk homework, that's shit. and while i'm on that, i have no idea how i survived the past 2 years without cable tv. it's a glorious glorious thing, cable tv. 

okay i have tuition in an hours time. 

i'm hungry and my laptop's batteries are running out again.


and speaking of. everyone's talking about anberlin. yes they're a very good band. but...


bloc party is really really really really really really really really good. 

I HATE WORK.

fking no money, work long hours, work like dog, work fast, do this do that, see the customer obnoxious impatient wtf face.

knn i think ive done very well taking up all this shit.

why cant i just have a nice job like stacking books in borders or something. so even if theres a disgruntled customer i can just pretend i didnt hear them and hide behind a bookshelf.

i honestly wonder if people who work in the food industry ever spit into the customer food when the customer starts being a bitch. because the temptation for doing so is exceptionally strong and i think whoever said the customer is always right can fuck off. that person obviously never served assholes before

4 more hours to the end of work. 

2 more months to Os.

dunno how many more months to poly.

further seems forever.

 its august!!!!!!! only just 2 more months to the end of october. cant wait cant wait.

i can sense freedom nearing, its so ironic really that while i have the whole year free and no being subjected to the daily grind of school, i dont feel any ounce of freedom. like a bird in a cage. surrounded by popiah. 

(okay i have to stop making these bad popiah jokes already)

anyway i have officially collapsed back to harry potter state in which i completely neglect my studies, escape into whimsical childhood fantasies of being a wizard, and sit there for hours re-reading the series. i cant believe i still feel the same rush of excitement even though i know exactly whats going to happen. therefore it is needless to say that i cant wait for the next harry potter movie to come out.

i was so tempted by the blue-ray goblet of fire disc yesterday that was retailing for 45 bucks but seeing as i am in a dire financial state, (independent of my parents doing, but my own) i had to walk away.

seriously though i am dead broke, i dont get any pay from work and i am sustaining myself by just by reading harry potter novels.

2009 is honestly brutal. its cruel. bloody hell i certainly wont want to be seventeen again like stupid zac efron. 17 suxxxxxxx

but i keep telling myself, october october october october, while everyone else dreads the o levels i will be embracing the moment. of course this isnt overconfidence, merely the desperation to get out of this rut. 

i mean 2010 is a year thats has so much to offer. world cup, poly, no more work, new epl season, 18 bday, new games, sigh.

and while i have been put under the impression that poly is stressful, i have no doubt about that of course, i think its still a much better alternative to wasting days away re-learning stuff you ought to have known. its complete bs when someone says to take it as a learning experience. the only thing ive learnt from this whole year is that to never ever ever neglect your maths.

hoping for october to come very quickly. pls pls pls